February blahs bringing you down?
I’m not sure if everyone gets the February blahs or if it’s more centered in areas of horrid gray weather like, oh, NJ. Last year I went on a cruise which helped immeasurably; this year, I’m longing for beaches but dealing with situations such as losing out on a promotion because of my “flexible schedule” (read: working 90 hours a week isn’t enough) and semi-permanent house guests who are job hunting-helpful with the kids, don’t get me wrong, in between job hunting, but fairly stressed because of…job hunting.
A friend at work came in the other day with gorgeous new blonde hair…I’d love such a change but I haven’t even dragged myself to update the highlights, lately, which I usually do when I look at my hair and say “Oh God, it looks awful”. Which I DID do, about two months ago! Imagine the worst.
So here’s the latest in what I’m doing to make myself feel better. One, trying not to work all hours-last year, I was working every night on the Detours&OnRamps Forum until like midnight, after a day of working and kid-taking-care-of. I’m trying to give myself more of a break and relax after kids are in bed by watching tv. Enter the writers’ strike, and it’s that much harder, but I’ve prevailed by revisiting Survivor fandom, and including shows like Las Vegas in my repetoire. I believe I’ve blogged about Las Vegas before, the most embarassing show it is possible to watch and like-but on the upside, as far as I can tell there aren’t any writers for it so it hasn’t been affected by the strike. It is so preposterous and out there that I can one thousand percent escape reality when I watch it. However, I found myself last night TEARING UP over the story line!! (Give me a bit of a break; it was the season finale). Also finding myself wanting some of that “Las Vegas” lifestyle–parenting in high heels, gorgeous clothes and flashy jewelry…yikes.
SO I was then watching Jon and Kate plus 8 which inevitably makes me feel better. Because the madness of their lives with eight kids is similar to mine though I only have 3–but I make myself feel better thinking how they have producers and the like to help them and I have only me. I love that show because as crazy as their lives are and as crazy as it is to have SIX three year olds–they so, so love them. That is nice and reminds me how much I love my own. And reminds me I should maybe not yell so much even during the twins’ all night “No Sleep Till Brooklyn” Dance party.
And then, today, what could have been the worst of all feel BAD experiences brightened my day a bit. I was given the distinct honor, the privilege, of spending 6 hours in “Defensive Driving School”. Long, long ago in my wild 20’s I got two speeding tickets and went to driving school then. I forgot all about this but was reminded by a friend who recalled me coming home with super-duper safety trips like “Consider wearing a helmet when driving a car…it might help in a crash”. I have since had a very safe driving record unmarred by tickets of any sort–also conspicuously absent any headgear. And then the other day, I was coming out of a shopping center and my charming and well mannered 4 year old was screaming her head off because I had denied her a bagel. (This was because, if you want to know, she’d been acting nuts at TJ MAXX and then when I said not to, she said “I LOVE TO BE BAD”). So I was coming out in one of those lanes that you have to go right to merge onto the road and I stopped, looked, saw no cars near, went, and got pulled over by a policeman who said I didn’t come to a complete stop. He was unmoved by the STILL yelling 4 year old or by my blemish free driving record and gave me a ticket.
A lawyer friend said “Pay the ticket and just go to driving school because that will reduce the 2 points AND hey, you’ll even save on insurance!”. So I signed up and got to spend 6 delightful hours today getting tips and ideas on better driving. The first tip I got was that your insurance company won’t raise your rates for 2 points and those 2 points would disappear in a year, thus my $65 and 6 hours…well spent? Maybe no. BUT, maybe if you consider my feelings of elitism and superiority having emerged from a day spent with NJ drivers–perhaps not the shiniest apples in the bunch–who all had upwards of 12 points and were (from the way they peeled out of the parking lot post-class) quickly heading for more. I literally felt like “OH MY GOD. I must be one of the smartest people in the WORLD if this is my competition”. Of course none of them were there for only 2 points, so does that make me the stupid one? I’m choosing not to think that way.
Lesson learned: if you’re not getting fulfillment from your career, try somewhere else. Find your “feeling brilliant” place. And remember…there’s always Las Vegas.
