Along with Detours&OnRamps I put my marketing background to work–for the last couple years, I was working for a large financial services firm. The job started from a consulting relationship and turned full-time right after I had my twins; I took the job in part on the advice of my OB who said “Going in to work for a couple days a week? For you, that will be a vacation.”
He was pretty much right – the offer at the time was to “Just get the job done” – no requirements for office time or face time, just keep delivering the results I’d delivered as a consultant. Uttering the famous last words of “I know these folks and I know what I’m getting myself into”, I took the gig. Fast forward a couple of months and the small piece I’d taken on had turned into managing an entire department. Fast forward further and management changes meant that face time was now hugely important and results meant very little (in a VERY political environment). Fast forward to layoffs and remember the lack of face time? I was laid off, which falls squarely into “Every cloud has a silver lining”.
Two subsequent conversations followed. One, with a reporter who was speaking to women who’d lost their jobs due to layoffs. She asked me if there was anything I’d regretted, anything I’d have done differently. I’d thought about this – should I have spent more time in the office? Seeing as how I had just come off of a 9-day stint in Boston, managing a conference (and spending the longest time away from my kids I’d ever spent – so hard that I couldn’t talk about them or look at a picture without crying) – to me, it was clear that results didn’t matter.
So should I have been in the office more? Why? When layoffs can be so arbitrary, I was GLAD I hadn’t spent more time away from my kids sitting there and smiling and playing political games.The layoff reinforced for me that certainly there are companies that reward results and actually MEAN it when they say they want to provide a good environment for working moms – and that’s where I needed to be, and where I could be successful. I’d gone through a stage, right after being at the conference, of thinking “Maybe I can play the political game now, for career advancement”. Thank goodness I didn’t – I’m so glad I didn’t give up additional time with my kids in order to be a part of politics that can be win/lose. Don’t get me wrong. I worked hard. For me it came down to realizing how important a meritocracy was. Which WASN’T what I had been a part of.
Next: I was speaking with someone who told me to come up with my ideal job description. What struck me is that I was sort of living my ideal job description – being paid (through severance) and spending time planning for and thinking about what I wanted to do and what was important to me (but not actually having to work!) But in seriousness I feel so lucky – to have the opportunity to give thought to what I want to and can do. I’d been thinking that maybe it was the time to stay at home for a while with my kids for rides to everywhere, general parenting, etc – for a while it had been quite crazy of taking turns, running in from play dates or story hours to be on calls, etc. I then realized after one short month that I don’t really want to do that. I do want to do SOMETHING.
And of course I realize that was MY choice–it’s not everyone’s choice. I’m not preaching stay home, go to work, or anything–I’m just talking about me. I feel really lucky to have the time to figure out, the right way, the right next step. It’s something that we talk about a lot at the conferences, really taking the time to look “inside yourself” to figure out what flexibility means to you, what’s important, etc. For me the grass had been greener and I kept thinking “Soon, I’ll stop working and stay home for a while”.
I keep repeating the mantra of “This isn’t forever” – that’s my ongoing mom mantra. I also keep going back to what I felt after leaving my first job, right after I had my oldest – I don’t ever want to feel that “trapped” again. There’s options. Sure the economy is bad. But having some time to think of what you want means that what you take will hopefully be closer to what it is you do want. Or you’ll start what you want. There’s articles out there now about the folks using these layoffs to examine their souls and pursue their dreams…I’m glad I had the chance to at least give it some thought.
