Thanks to everyone that helped make the Waltham event a success – from sponsors to presenters to attendees. As always I learned quite a bit myself. The first thing that comes to mind is “No one looks good in yellow” (thank you Ginger and Total Image Consultants!)  

There was great discussion regarding the economy and where its going…and the subsequent effects on jobs, companies, and flexible situations. We got a great legislative update from Nikki Murphy, and regardless of your politics I think it is encouraging to see some of the steps and ideas that may turn into law, to make flexibility a part of the workplace for everyone.

I also was able to attend most of the session on entrepreneurship, and heard from Laura Tomasetti (360 Public Relations), Jo McChesney (Isis)  and Julie Bergeron, representing Safety Partners. The discussion, led by Brenda Stanton (a great coach) included the advice that sometimes you just have to GO FOR IT. There were several folks in the group from the Hingham Coop, who spoke later – but everyone agreed that sometimes it may not seem wise, or prudent, to jump in with both feet – but sometimes you just have to do it and success will come! Inspiring for me and I hope it will lead to bigger and better for Detours and OnRamps. 

The day before the event, I received an email invitation to a one-day webcast (that would mean a full day sitting in front of a computer, just listening!) It covered job hunting – resumes, interview skills, etc. The cost was the same as Detours, and having gone through the great day AT Detours (I didn’t join the webcast) I truly think the difference and the best part of a live event is the ability to touch base with others in the same boat, in a different boat, or just those sailing along – the human interaction piece is key! 

Thanks to all who were there and we’re planning now for fall events – that’s plural, events, as Detours gets bigger and better! Please let us know if you’d like to see an event in your city. And if you were at an event, please let us know your success stories – through networking, onsite conversations, etc. Lastly, we are working on creating some networking groups – so stay tuned! 

I spend much of my time working on figuring out what I’m going to do with myself when I grow up, what my ideal job is going to be – as I slog through the days of my current (not ideal) job and work away on Detours (ideal but not a million dollar venture quite yet).

And I find that as a mom it’s quite easy to be derailed not just by the antics and hijinks of my kids (funny, and not bothersome) but also by self-doubt and tiredness (not funny, and quite bothersome). Certainly some of my ideas aren’t great ones. When my oldest was in utero I taught myself to knit and then my cousin and I started an online sweater business which had a GORGEOUS site and an ok concept–customizable sweater designs–but not a great business model as the prices we ended up having to charge were a lot and yet we were still knitting for virtually $1/hour. One publicity stunt later (making sweaters for Julia Roberts’ twins; she was photo-ed in People Mag carrying them in a bag, unfortunately NOT emblazoned with our emblem, and that’s as far as that went) our hands clawed up and we pulled the plug on the business.  

But I continue in moments of lucidity to have good (I think) ideas and I know a lot of moms that have the same…this great article was just sent to me about a team of moms in the Boston area who created a great Co-op…find out more.  However in moments of doubt I’m my own worst critic. That’s why I feel sometimes I’m so lucky to be in the position of producing this conference (I feel less lucky when I’m stuffing 150 goody bags by myself but that’s rare). I get to talk to such great people who are so inspiring. And they put truth to the notion of “It’s not forever”…that smart people can have evolutionary careers in that they can succeed at many different things.

I spoke with Lisa the other day who was a successful attorney turned project manager/consultant turned recruiting/transition expert. I spoke with Sean who has a “real job” and also multiple blogs. These were just two conversations in two days that inspired me personally to say “I can do more than just the marketing job for (insert big company) I’ve always had…and I can do it well, and live on my terms”. That’s so important to me and it made me feel great to see other people succeeding at different iterations of their career.

I’m not saying anything revolutionary, I know. But it’s one of the reasons I love to BE at the Detours conferences, to be inspired by those around me. And it’s why it’s so important to have and make time for strong networks. Which brings me to the point of looking for a NJ-based business partner for a “big idea”–if you’re interested in the mom-market  let me know. And it’s why I hope I’ll see you in March.  

I find myself of late getting angry at–and loving–the same behavior in my children. I’m not talking about loving the kid but getting frustrated with them talking back or something (I just had to have a heart-to-heart with my five year old who dramatically asked why we didn’t love her when she got sent to bed without a book. I explained we loved her but didn’t love her talking back and not cleaning up. I think in reality the whole thing was a ploy to stay up later). 

I’m talking about, though, simultaneously  being angry at a 3 year old twin because she wasn’t taking her nap – instead, she was wandering around her room putting on her batgirl costume. 30 minutes later I went to wake her up and how could I be angry at a person sleeping so peacefully in full bat-gear (boots and plastic mask included)?

I’m talking about being mad that I can’t do 5 minutes of work without my five year old reading over my shoulder (she has always got to be TOUCHING me!) and yet still, at the same time, loving that she always wants to be close to me. Being annoyed that they are running around the house and not getting in the bath – then having to laugh at the spectacle of a skinny little twin doing naked cheerleading jumping jacks for the joy of dancing.  

It reminds me of when one of my college aged cousins had not studied for an exam and thereby forced the entire family to cancel a planned weekend away – my uncle was SO angry. This came on the heels of a conversation with my mom about when will I get to the point that I don’t look at my kids and love them so fiercely I could squeeze them to pieces, love them so much it makes me cry? She thought for a second and said perhaps my uncle did NOT feel that way about my cousin.  But that all that cute time of Batgirl naps, jumping twins, and “Close to You” puts love in the bank, I guess. 

I was speaking to someone the other day about how I am hesitant to blog sometimes about issues at work because I am not sure that people are tuning in to hear complaints, nor do I want to unprofessionally complain about a work situation I’m in. Nevertheless the point of this outlet is supposed to be to share experiences with others, and I often hear back from people that they’ve lived through the same thing.   

So I’m in a position now that is definitely of the “grass is always greener” persuasion. I’ll insert here that I never think of myself as a full-time-working mom (and I’ll also insert I make no judgements about what work arrangements others do – it’s whatever works for you – I only judge myself, frequently and constantly).

The “gig” I have at present is 3 days in an office and 2 from home.  I like this gig very much on the 2 from home days. And on the 3 from the office days, it’s tough. In part, because the work and projects that I’m involved with aren’t of huge interest to me. In my last position, I was in charge of everything marketing related, even with a telecommuting schedule. Here, I am “in charge” of much less (in fact I’d venture to say I’m actually “in charge” of nothing). By the last day in the office it’s gotten to me and I’m usually feeling quite down on myself.

I wish I could not let it affect me. Because what I say is, the obligatory but of course heartfelt “I’m lucky to have a job in this economy” and then, also, on those at-home days…this is worth it, because of these at-home days. When I can run my kids to swim lessons and watch them splash in the pool – they’ve been talking about swimming for weeks and wearing their “gobbles” in the bathtub to rehearse. But then I go back to the grass is always greener.

And also, the thought I had when I had my first of “I would do anything for this kid”. It’s so hard when you have to put your money where your mouth is…because now, “anything for this kid (morphed to kids)” means doing something I’m not that into.I think it is very hard to find the balance between “This is my schedule for now and this job is important BECAUSE of this schedule” and “This job is making me nuts regardless of schedule”.

I’m trying now to figure out how long it can last. And wondering how to keep it from affecting my psyche in general.  And for this one I have no answers but would love to hear yours.