I was speaking to someone the other day about how I am hesitant to blog sometimes about issues at work because I am not sure that people are tuning in to hear complaints, nor do I want to unprofessionally complain about a work situation I’m in. Nevertheless the point of this outlet is supposed to be to share experiences with others, and I often hear back from people that they’ve lived through the same thing.
So I’m in a position now that is definitely of the “grass is always greener” persuasion. I’ll insert here that I never think of myself as a full-time-working mom (and I’ll also insert I make no judgements about what work arrangements others do – it’s whatever works for you – I only judge myself, frequently and constantly).
The “gig” I have at present is 3 days in an office and 2 from home. I like this gig very much on the 2 from home days. And on the 3 from the office days, it’s tough. In part, because the work and projects that I’m involved with aren’t of huge interest to me. In my last position, I was in charge of everything marketing related, even with a telecommuting schedule. Here, I am “in charge” of much less (in fact I’d venture to say I’m actually “in charge” of nothing). By the last day in the office it’s gotten to me and I’m usually feeling quite down on myself.
I wish I could not let it affect me. Because what I say is, the obligatory but of course heartfelt “I’m lucky to have a job in this economy” and then, also, on those at-home days…this is worth it, because of these at-home days. When I can run my kids to swim lessons and watch them splash in the pool – they’ve been talking about swimming for weeks and wearing their “gobbles” in the bathtub to rehearse. But then I go back to the grass is always greener.
And also, the thought I had when I had my first of “I would do anything for this kid”. It’s so hard when you have to put your money where your mouth is…because now, “anything for this kid (morphed to kids)” means doing something I’m not that into.I think it is very hard to find the balance between “This is my schedule for now and this job is important BECAUSE of this schedule” and “This job is making me nuts regardless of schedule”.
I’m trying now to figure out how long it can last. And wondering how to keep it from affecting my psyche in general. And for this one I have no answers but would love to hear yours.
