Obviously first and foremost many of us trust our instincts. I’ll usually bounce a really bad day or a big question off of my mom, figuring that I turned out ok so she must have been doing something right. I get good ideas from my friends.

Somewhere I don’t go for parenting advice is virtual strangers. Yet in a shocking and maddening turn of events my  3 1/2 year old twins’ dance teacher misunderstood, thinking that my not asking her for her views on my parenting was an oversight and not, as is actually true, a clear and total lack of interest in her opinion.

Now I must say the twins do not have an unblemished record of good behavior. Once they figured out there were two of them they, between them, determined that if they were not interested in the goings-on of a particular class they’d be better off just amusing themselves. For the most part we’ve reinforced “YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO THE TEACHER” to deter this behavior but hey, once in a while everyone has a bad day.

Which they did the other day and their teacher asked them what they had for breakfast (cereal and half a donut, they fessed up) and this led to not me, but my poor babysitter getting a 15 minute lecture – in front of all the other parents, kids, etc on “Healthy Eating”. As my 5 year old said, “It just went on and on”. She heard how they couldn’t have sugar, at all, how Americans have horrid eating habits, that’s why we are all so fat, that sugar is awful for kids, that they should have scrambled eggs and meat protein for breakfast, blah blah blah, blah blah blah.

At the risk of sounding defensive several facts come into play—one, Twin 2 literally has had to leave swim class two weeks in a row because she’s too cold in the pool due to her negative body fat ratio. She (no joke) at 3 ½ has six-pack abs in some sort of non-genetic stroke of luck as, I can assure you, neither my husband nor I are sporting anything resembling a 6pack. Two, I work all day at getting fruit and veggies into them, and they’re getting better and better. I’d once resorted to trickery a la Jessica Seinfeld, pureeing up veggies and slapping them into all manner of meals and cookies, but after the chick-pea chocolate chip cookies received a “Don’t put those corns in there again” and the sweet-potato laced hot chocolate was spit out, I decided it was better to be up front about veggies and get the kids to like them. Which they do! My 5 year old eats full salads, they nosh on carrots and broccoli, they eat fruit. It’s not all the time, and I certainly still pat myself on the back with a “Job well done” after I get a good serving of fruit into them…

But the point is I didn’t send them to dance class with a Big Gulp, a 40 of malt liquor, or anything of the sort. It is in NO way appropriate or within bounds for anyone to volunteer advice on how to raise my kids, except MAYBE their grandmother. I got madder and madder, planning telling-off scenarios—but I don’t want repercussions on them (they’re only 3 ½!) So I’m resorting to my blog and on the chance that “You know who you are” is reading this—thanks, I’m all set on the nutrition advice.

Anyone else have experiences with unwanted advice? 

None of this is news, but there’s a new report coming out all about what we cover at Detours&OnRamps. Maria Shriver, who’s made this a big issue in California and beyond, speaks on it…peek at it here. 

In this awful economy one of the things that makes me feel good each day is the nightly news on NBC, which I watch with my girls almost every night in a tradition passed down from my parents–they call Brian, “Brian Wil-mes” and get mad if there’s a substitute but don’t you know that my oldest knew “President Bush” at age 2 (no joke – my pediatrician, an ardent Republican, was blown away and walked her around the office spouting “President Bush” like she was a party trick). I digress. The NEWS doesn’t make me feel good each day – but their “Making a Difference” reports on things that people are doing to help others is truly inspiring – a day care providing free babysitting for parents on a job interview – dry cleaners or hair salons offering free services, for job interviewers – I think it is great. 

 I also personally am always very touched by the stories of military families. Regardless of your feelings about the war(s) I think almost all of us are supportive of these military families, and I just learned of a woman who wrote a great book and a simple list of things we can all do to help. 

 Alison Buckholtz is the wife of an active-duty Navy pilot who recently returned from a seven-month deployment in the Persian Gulf, and is now preparing for a twelve-month tour in Bagdad.  Alison is author of Standing By: The Making of An American Military Family In A Time of War. She has also created the  two-minute video “Homecoming Day” documenting the emotional reunions between military children and their parents: 

Here’s Alison’s list.  

“5 Things Anyone Can Do to Help a Military Family”

· Help mow the lawn or shovel snow. Seasonal outdoor tasks that may typically have been done by the deployed servicemember are sometimes overwhelming to a spouse parenting alone. 

· Suggest starting a school carpool. If the military spouse has more than one child to bring to school in the morning, or has to get to work on time, a shared ride will be a welcome relief.  

· Offer to babysit. Spouses of deployed servicemembers desperately need time to themselves — it doesn’t have to be a special occasion!

· Propose to be their emergency contact or general back-up. Often military families new in town don’t have trusted friends who would fill this role, and spouses of deployed servicemembers often worry about what might happen to their child if they can’t be reached. 

· Offer to play favorite games and activities with the children of the deployed servicemember. Boys and girls who might be used to playing sports or doing arts and crafts with their deployed parent miss their usual activities — and though family friends can’t take the place of a parent, these outings can be a welcome distraction. 

The recent conference in Waltham pointed out several great opportunities that are out there…in particular, Linda Kagan from Forms4Parents. com mentioned that she was looking for b-to-b sales help. Grab her if you’re interested. Linda’s Forms4Parents provides a great service to parents who work, travel, or just leave their children with sitters from time to time. 

Laura Tomasetti, from 360 Public Relations, also was looking for people for her 360PR Mom Squad. I would encourage you to peek at her site, her blog, and reach out to her as well. She has amazing mom-focused clients and brands and as we all know moms are the best at spreading the word about mom-favored things!  

There were representatives from both Prudential Financial and  SFG (a MetLife/New England Financial) broker-dealer. Did you ever consider becoming a financial advisor? It’s a great career for women, and allows you to be your own boss – while providing valued, trusted advice to people who need it. And many companies are ACTIVELY seeking female advisors (Prudential and MetLife, for example!) If you want to follow up with either group, let us know and we can get you contact information. 

And Brenda Stanton, who was there as a coach, is running a series of sessions to help budding entrepreneurs – for great advice and support, this is the place to go. For more info: click here.MIT, a participant in past events, also has a great program called the Career Reengineering Program.

If you are shifting disciplines or returning to work after time spent away, this is a great resource and they are holding information sessions soon…All info sessions will be held on the MITcampus at 10:00 am. The first round of dates are April 21, May 7, May 12, June 2, June 18, July 14. If you’re interested, go to the website to sign up for a convenient date.

If you were a part of the event, or if you just have an opportunity – let us know! And we’d love to hear your success stories, too. Lastly, we’re trying to put together some networking groups – either in person, or online; please let us know if you’d like to be a part! We’ll plan for weekly or more likely every-other-week calls on relevant topics.