Obviously first and foremost many of us trust our instincts. I’ll usually bounce a really bad day or a big question off of my mom, figuring that I turned out ok so she must have been doing something right. I get good ideas from my friends.
Somewhere I don’t go for parenting advice is virtual strangers. Yet in a shocking and maddening turn of events my 3 1/2 year old twins’ dance teacher misunderstood, thinking that my not asking her for her views on my parenting was an oversight and not, as is actually true, a clear and total lack of interest in her opinion.
Now I must say the twins do not have an unblemished record of good behavior. Once they figured out there were two of them they, between them, determined that if they were not interested in the goings-on of a particular class they’d be better off just amusing themselves. For the most part we’ve reinforced “YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO THE TEACHER” to deter this behavior but hey, once in a while everyone has a bad day.
Which they did the other day and their teacher asked them what they had for breakfast (cereal and half a donut, they fessed up) and this led to not me, but my poor babysitter getting a 15 minute lecture – in front of all the other parents, kids, etc on “Healthy Eating”. As my 5 year old said, “It just went on and on”. She heard how they couldn’t have sugar, at all, how Americans have horrid eating habits, that’s why we are all so fat, that sugar is awful for kids, that they should have scrambled eggs and meat protein for breakfast, blah blah blah, blah blah blah.
At the risk of sounding defensive several facts come into play—one, Twin 2 literally has had to leave swim class two weeks in a row because she’s too cold in the pool due to her negative body fat ratio. She (no joke) at 3 ½ has six-pack abs in some sort of non-genetic stroke of luck as, I can assure you, neither my husband nor I are sporting anything resembling a 6pack. Two, I work all day at getting fruit and veggies into them, and they’re getting better and better. I’d once resorted to trickery a la Jessica Seinfeld, pureeing up veggies and slapping them into all manner of meals and cookies, but after the chick-pea chocolate chip cookies received a “Don’t put those corns in there again” and the sweet-potato laced hot chocolate was spit out, I decided it was better to be up front about veggies and get the kids to like them. Which they do! My 5 year old eats full salads, they nosh on carrots and broccoli, they eat fruit. It’s not all the time, and I certainly still pat myself on the back with a “Job well done” after I get a good serving of fruit into them…
But the point is I didn’t send them to dance class with a Big Gulp, a 40 of malt liquor, or anything of the sort. It is in NO way appropriate or within bounds for anyone to volunteer advice on how to raise my kids, except MAYBE their grandmother. I got madder and madder, planning telling-off scenarios—but I don’t want repercussions on them (they’re only 3 ½!) So I’m resorting to my blog and on the chance that “You know who you are” is reading this—thanks, I’m all set on the nutrition advice.
Anyone else have experiences with unwanted advice?