So in my ongoing quest to be the perfect mother I gave up yelling for Lent (I was sort of successful. That is, I have been yelling less and also, when I yell, I think about it more in the sense of “I gave up yelling and now I am yelling”. So noticing is half the battle.)
Part of why I gave up yelling is because of an “EPISODE” with my children, my delightful angels, who seem to have no inherent ability to determine what is “too far”. For instance, when Mommy’s been on for 4 straight days because Daddy’s had work stuff and Mommy is tired and working also and it’s way way way past bedtime and Mommy wants to watch The Biggest Loser it’s best to just hop in bed and GO TO BED. However, since the “Too Much” filter is either missing, set too low, or just permanently off, the 3 1/2 year old twins just kept asking, and asking – (“Another hug” “Where’s my tiger” “Another hug” “Where’s my bear” “Another hug” – I love them but FIFTY HUGS? – “I’m tirsty” (misspelling intended). So then I was done and (this is not my proudest moment) I yelled. And I might have dropped a very bad word. Twice. On my 3 1/2 year old. In the sense of “Lie down, lie down now” (insert the bad word twice in there).
I felt REALLY bad after this. Felt even worse because my husband then guilt tripped me about how awful I was for dropping the word-that-should-not-be-said on the “innocent” child.
Ok so, fast forward to this weekend, when a good friend whose name will not be used, to protect the innocent and the guilty, told me of her temper tantrum. (She did not know she was “on the record”, another reason her name will not be used). Her temper tantrum was predicated by the same sorts of things MINE was – the pushing, the pushing, the PUSHING. In her case her 6 and 4 year old girls were joining her (and her baby and her husband) in their bed every am earlier and earlier and oh yes, fighting louder and louder each morning. She’s supremely patient, etc – but had HAD ENOUGH the other day and finally yelled “Get the (really bad word) out of my bed, get the (really bad word) out of my bed right NOW!” Having not blown off enough steam, she then marched everyone downstairs for 5 am breakfast which was literally “on the fly” as she hurled a box of rice crispies across the kitchen at her children and told ‘em to eat up. No stranger to hurling food myself, I saw myself in EVERY PART of this story.
It made me feel better about myself that she, who IS typically very very calm with her children, was pushed to throwing/very bad word status. Her husband didn’t guilt trip her – in fact, he admitted the kids had it coming. And the very next day they did NOT join her in bed and were angelic in the am.
Follow up is our recent trip to IKEA. My husband, fed up with the three girls not listening and perpetually whining, had already had it when one of the twins dropped the entire bag of 400 colored straws ALL OVER the floor having been told over and over not to open the bag. Having a, dealt with similar before and b, expecting nothing less, I was not surprised or even particularly bothered but HE dropped a GD bad word on them (not as bad as mine but still pretty bad). The road to perfection is, it seems, littered with a couple of swears and some flying rice crispies, here and there.
A friend of mine forwarded this onto me… This was so hilarious and yes, I completely relate. It’s nice to know other Mom’s have the same issues as I. Sometimes, I just shake my head and say, “What’s wrong with me???”……..Thank you!