shall we? Because mine’s not calling me back and I’ve HAD IT. As recent posts have pointed out I’m trying on for size (“we’re” trying on for size) the one-permanent-income, one consulting income route. I’m the consulting income and it’s a bit touch and go. I’m sort of constantly worried about dough, thinking about money, saving here and there (except I still buy iced coffees because I love them).
Manis-pedis? So 2005. I line up all 40 toes, the girls and I, and slap some Brucci ($1) nailpolish on and we are set. Housekeeper? Puh-leeze. Let her go when I was still working – though truth be told that was more because I simply couldn’t take that the house was messed up within 4 seconds of her leaving and I think I‘ve even blogged about that?? Is my house clean? No. In fact my neighbor, who was watching the twins in their vagabond days, swept my kitchen with a garage broom AND IT WAS AN IMPROVEMENT. My couch smells (“Don’t let the children eat on it-that’s why”, my husband says. That ship has SAILED out to a stinky harbor).
All right. So we could definitely LIVE on one income, but we’ve decided to do more than live on that income – we’ve decided to “improve” the old home. And that is the cause of my stress. The initial estimate to blow out the kitchen and bedroom was over $250k and cooler heads prevailed (that one income, after all, is not the income of Derek Jeter or in fact ANY Yankee–or even a utility infielder). But we decided we could do the kitchen over and even the bathroom, to make them up-to-date and more important, usable as we currently have 1.4 inches of functioning counter space in the kitchen.
As every penny is counted, we shopped around and found a contractor and thought he was great and then the new twist is he never calls me back. EVER. And my husband keeps saying “Well, you can call him again – it’s ok to call him multiple times in a day”. REALLY? Why should I? I mean my initial thought was “I can do this my SELF” and I was told by all and sundry that in fact, I could not. And as I tried to imagine trying to wrestle a new bathtub in and upstairs with only a squad of 3 under-6 Brucci-pink-pedicured helpers to assist, I had to concede the inevitable, that I would indeed have to call in a professional.
So my point is – professionals call back. And work with you, and listen. And as I search for consulting work and develop this conference and take work on that is less than what I’m worth (sound familiar?) and even consider, for the billionth time, finding a fun-and-non-draining bartender gig (I consider this half seriously) I think: is this even worth it?
At the gym the other day, Oprah was talking about ways to cut down on your spending or economize. I think all of us, likely, are doing that or have done a lot of it – and it means different things to different people. Thinking twice about new shoes; canceling all but basic cable; buying cheaper wine (I did that for a while. I stopped doing that). There’s 18 zillion things you can do to save dough (tell me if you’ve got a good one! Would love comments on this blog beyond the spam that seems to get through the filters!) But I daily go back and forth between “I can save money and spend time with the girls” and “I want money and want my life…vacations, no debt, the whole nine yards that I had when working”…of course there are sacrifices a lot of us make. I wonder if everyone has the same feeling of constantly counting the pennies.
So quick moral is: I know at some point I can go back to work and get a real (non bartending) job which will pay off our home equity loan or put the kids in college (they are 5 and almost 4 so we’ve got time). I know I need to stop obsessing over money. I enjoy days such as Friday when I spent an entire day with the girls at the park and the beach for a grand total of $6.37 worth of ice cream (I don’t count the iced coffee expense, it was on my Dunkin Donuts card). And in the meantime, if the contractor doesn’t call me back, I’ll install the damned tub myself – even if I do break a nail.