By: Lori DeRosa

Lori DeRosa — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 13:07:41 +0000

Hey Meghan!! Jumped on the site to see how things are going and love this post. I have been going back and forth since the beginning of August when I went back to my “full schedule” (which is only 3 days/week). My job is stressful and I bring it home – physically, mentally, emotionally. I think it is impacting my ability as a mother…plus, Phelan is the sweetest baby and I miss him during the day! I often think of you and your choice to stay home and how hard that must be with the whole identity-thing.
In response to your post, a good friend put things in perspective for me. A year and a half ago, she left her job as Asst Dir of HR at Boston Police, because her family (husband & 2 young girls) moved out of Boston to be in a better neighborhood. She loved her job, but you have to be a Boston resident to work for the city. She struggled emotionally (and financially!) for 8 or so months…for all the reasons you mentioned. But now she is loving being home and doesn’t really want to get back into the full-time thing.
Her advice: “You need to redefine yourself as a mother who also does BLANK…not as a defunct Asst HR Director” She found some HR work at her mother’s small company, and does it 10-15 hours/week. Even better, she is doing some non-kid projects and learning that she has always wanted to do. So, now she is proud of being a great mother who has been able to reinvent herself.
As I waffle on work and my so-called “perfect part-time professional job,” I have been thinking of ways to redefine myself as a mother who also _________. Lately, I’ve been thinking the blank may be teaching a business course at a community college or small college…something I have ALWAYS wanted to do. If I can make it all work financially, I think I will feel very fulfilled and happy.
So, what is your “blank?”

Comments on: Losing my identity

By: Lori DeRosa