Archive for February, 2010

Flexibility and the Economy

Thursday, February 25th, 2010

I was reading a blog post the other day on flexibility in the workplace and one of the very first comments, as it always seems to be, is that with the new realities of the economy many companies will likely reduce the possibilities for flexibility. So depressing to think of but I just don’t understand WHY that necessarily needs to be the case.

I’m not saying anything new here to point out that everyone, in an age of layoffs, is working much harder. So perhaps on the side you want to start an endeavor that “feeds your soul”. Or perhaps you want to have dinner with your kids and then do 2 hours of work after they’re in bed. If at the end of the day, you are productive, I don’t understand why the economy affects that-because jobs are so few and far between that we should all be happy to have what we have? I really don’t think we’re back at that yet, are we? And are companies so short sighted that they are willing to wring what they can out of people for short term gain?

There are so many people that I meet through the course of Detours&OnRamps who don’t look for new jobs, and stay where they are (perhaps making less) because a company bent over backwards for them when they came back after a maternity leave. Or even because a company met them halfway. You know someone in that situation-perhaps you ARE someone in that situation. Loyalty seems to me to be what companies should strive for? And how many companies can say that a little bit of flexibility yields a LOT of loyalty-and productivity-in return? I’d venture to say ANY company that employs flexibility could say that.

Here’s a great article I just read…and my favorite line from it, is “It will be tough to convince very good people to work for organizations that do not allow flexible work”. Because what is flexible? I don’t think a lot of folks these days are looking for the opportunity to be paid full-time for 8-12 hours of work. The women (and it’s largely women, but men too) that I talk to day-to-day for Detours are working a lot more than 40 hours (and I’m not including all the work of raising kids). In fact, I remember recently sitting at a meeting with a consulting client. They asked how much I wanted to work, and I looked back over recent weeks and (shockingly, even to myself) realized that I’d been working about 65 hours a week (including time after kids were in bed, weekends, etc). I was on my computer ALL DAY for Detours projects, marketing consulting work, this and that. I don’t feel like I am working that much, except for the days that I TOTALLY do. But the point is there’s some flexibility and I make it work-and the productivity is there.

I think another interesting thing in this article is the point that a lot of people hold multiple jobs. I remember the woman that worked for me at my last “real gig” made about $1500 a month selling Arbonne–on top of her Marketing Manager job. My cousin makes if not half, at least a third of her income freelancing art projects on the side. Two examples and I know there’s so many more. (And if playing Rock Band was a job, my husband would have that front and center on his resume). It’s either supplementing a salary, a chance to do what you love, or whatever reason-but points to the fact that companies in some fashion have to adapt-regardless of a bad economy, you can’t “unring the bell” after people get used to doing things on the side (that aren’t a conflict), etc.

Speaking of unring the bell-when the gas prices were so high and companies were encouraging more folks to work from home, and it totally worked, than why would a “bad economy” make telecommuting less viable? I just think it is so old-school-thinking to automatically equate “work from home” with “slacking off”. Telecommuting is completely doable for almost every job. So why such a struggle to make it happen?

At the end of the day this article at least made me feel that there were some other people thinking the same way-and hopefully, even the bad (but improving??) economy won’t negate all the progress we’ve made with work-life balance.

Snow and the Road Less Travelled

Tuesday, February 16th, 2010

As we’re all aware El Nino (La Nina?) is upon us – not sure which it is, really; the last time this was even at all a factor in my life (and I mean, on the periphery) my younger brother was out at school in California and kept not getting back, being stuck at airports, and I think in one case, carried 2, 60 pound bags 2 miles home from the train because no one actually believed his flight landed. This time, though, as the snow keeps coming, they threaten to strip Al Gore of his prize based on global warming or the lack thereof, and even my kids groan and skip the snow-men, heading straight to hot chocolate…this time, El Nino is bringing ME down.

This is because all three of my kids have been holed up with me (also my looking-for-work husband but that’s another post altogether). They are bored; the twins have practically turned into hobbits or gnomes or something from spending so much time in the basement. School keeps being cancelled; I mean, it’s not as bad as DC, where my friend’s daughters have been out for like 3 weeks. My oldest and I are in the middle of Laura Ingalls Wilder’s “The Long Winter” and I GUESS it’s not that bad as we’re not grinding wheat to eat, nor is my husband following a clothesline to feed the cattle (my oldest laughingly told him to do the chores, feed the cows the other day, and he just walked by on his way to ignore the driveway shoveling).

I really, really, really have never wanted more to be on a beach, even for 2 days. One nice thing about having a real job was the corporate travel – the 2-day trip to California, made worth it by the two NIGHTS in the Four Seasons…these days, sweet heaven is a 15 minute escape by myself to Dunkin.

But trying to keep the kids going, I suggested a tea party for a couple of my oldest’s kindergarten buddies; they dropped by yesterday, and it was “great success”. Hot chocolate, chocolate fondue, sugar cookies (sidenote, my 4 year old twins were flying high on sugar rushes an hour later, weird) and they made necklaces with $6 worth of beads, then went downstairs and put on all the princess dresses. Perfect afternoon.

And one of her friend’s moms, who’d stayed for a cup of tea, told me “You are such a good mom, I think. You look like Martha Stewart”.

When’s the last time you got that positive reinforcement? I don’t feel like a good mom a lot. I yell (I believe I’ve mentioned). I work alot, don’t always drop what I’m doing to play, I’m constantly hollering about the cleaning. BUT, I did choose to spend this time with them and I am happy every day about something.And yesterday, it was hearing that from someone else.

I read this great article, today, that reinforced it.  And I don’t know, these days, if this road is less traveled…but at least for me it’s making a difference.

What Keeps You Up at Night?

Tuesday, February 9th, 2010

If your personal answer is “my two month old” well, enough said. Go take a nap.

But our house is light on 2-month olds (though currently heavy on coughers and sneezers); my twins are now 41/2, and beyond one recent episode at my brothers’ when they woke up at 4am and insisted it was morning, everyone sleeps through the night. In fact, they sleep so well, that episode stood out for its weirdness–they were chirping away in the guest room and I literally didn’t know how to convince them it was NOT morning, aside from pointing out the no-light, since they hadn’t woken up before morning in so long.

I have so many friends whose kids are up and rarin’ to go at 6am; I’m blessed with good sleepers…the twins are usually in bed till 7:30 and my oldest had to be dragged out of bed the other day at 9:30am. Granted it was after a late night but still, I’m usually able to get a good night’s sleep, even when I go to bed, habitually, at 11 or during whatever part of The Daily Show that I tune out to.

Yet of late I have been waking up at 4am.  I wander around. I go sleep in the guest room. Or not sleep in the guest room. And I worry.I worry about weird things that in the light of day do not seem as troublesome, or at least seem manageable. But at 4am they go through my head in a non-stop rush and I can’t stop them. What if all my consulting work dries up? What if my job-hunting husband NEVER finds a job and lives in my basement like a caveman forever? I start adding up numbers and dollars and thinking through budgets. Then I firmly say to myself STOP THIS. You can’t do anything about it in the middle of the night.

So then I start in with to-do lists. I have to finish x, I didn’t even start y. Why did I yell at the kids today when I was working so hard on my temper? Why didn’t I complete a, b, or c? I have to do all of these things for this client or for the conference, I have to follow up with him, or her, why didn’t I ever hear back from this person or that person? I found that if I start making a list, sometimes some of the things go away. But new things take their place.

I am totally not a grudge-holding person, at least not for most people, but what “takes the place” of those to-dos is a review of past grievances (like Festivus on Seinfeld). I rehash old fights or issues or things that made me crazy and then at 4:30 or 5:15 or whatever time it has gotten to I fruitlessly get mad all over again. And then get mad that I’m mad and even madder that I’m not sleeping.

Here’s what I’ve been told to do–read a boring book. Great, I don’t have any, there’s no light bulb in the lamp in the guest room and I never remember that till it’s 5:30 am at which point I don’t feel like traipsing around downstairs to find one. Watch a boring show to tune out. That’s easier than it used to be in that the guest room tv now doesn’t get cable so it’s informercials or early, early, early editions of whatever the “Today” show is at that point, but it doesn’t help me sleep boring or not. I’ve been trying to think of positive things but nothing comes to mind at 5:45.

Because that’s the point. The “worries”, in real life or real time, aren’t as bad–or at least, I can do something about them. They’re blown out of proportion in the middle of the night. Even if I know that, though, I’m up fretting away. And listening to the fish tank in one kid’s room, the heating system rattle away, and my own fears.

What keeps you up at night? And what do you do about it?

Paging Mr. Blackwell

Friday, February 5th, 2010

Over Thanksgiving weekend I saw a comedian, John Heffernan who went through a funny bit about how he is currently living with his wife, his sister in law, his 16 year old stepdaughter, and his 4 year old niece. He talked about coming home at the end of the day and the 4 year old would be fully decked out in heels, jewelry, and full Princess gear while everyone else was wearing sweats or some version therein. His point was that only the four year old cared enough to dress up for him.

Funnier when he said it (which is why he is a stand up comedian though to be honest I think I am funnier than the woman who followed him on stage, who will remain nameless) but really, funny because how true it is in my house. My daughters are OBSESSED with being “fancy” (damn you, Jane O’Connor and Fancy Nancy) so much so that they wear ONLY dresses, at all times, and tiaras whenever possible.

Madame Alexander 47965 Play Alexander Fancy Nancy Cloth Doll

I on the other hand, ESPECIALLY since beginning my work-at-home phase, am beginning to find even myself a disappointment. But it seems so absurd to put on anything beyond comfy pants (I mean at this point I even try to avoid jeans if possible) to sit around with my girls. I remember the advice of one professional work-from-homer who said she made a point of putting on panty hose every day that she was working. Let’s be honest, I don’t put on  panty hose if I’m actually going out somewhere!

Another bit of recent advice was to, at a minimum, put on earrings. That jewelry made the difference.

I have been trying here and there (if for no other reason than that I should wear my 2 4-year-old cashmere sweaters before the moths eat them entirely). I have been putting on mascara every day. I’ve tried to mix it up with some jeans. I’ve taken the fact that my husband asked his family to give me pajamas for Christmas so that he didn’t see my 15 year old t-shirts every night to heart, and have been busting out those pajamas instead…soft, cuddly, worthy of being worn every day (and they are).

One of my consulting clients asked me to come into the office for Monday and I am unreasonably excited about the prospect of wearing normal clothes. And, if I am honest with myself, I know that whether it is superficial or not I do feel better if I take the time to slap on a little makeup; I put in earrings the other day to great critical reviews (by my girls) – I suppose it wouldn’t kill me to try a little harder, if only for myself.

What do YOU do to keep yourself feeling human?