Archive for March, 2011

Talk to me.

Wednesday, March 9th, 2011

I am really, really, trying to make this blog a bit more interactive, for many reasons. I know people read it (besides my mom)–case in point, once my husband read it and got so mad at me he refused to speak to me for the day. But also, one of the next steps of our conference is always a question of “What IS next? How can I keep in touch, how can I take the next steps with the support of this group?” And lastly, we’re working on a book behind the ups and downs of working-motherhood/want-to-be-working-motherhood so would love any input from “the trenches”.

One thought was to build a community forum page, and we have one pending–but thought it might be easier to accomplish through Facebook, which speaking from experience is a site that many moms spend a lot of time on. Also many humans. We have a Facebook page–you can click above (the Facebook “f”) to get there or just click here. If you “Like Us”, you’ll get an update when there’s a new blog post and when there’s a discussion. And we’d really, really, really like you to discuss  or share your ideas.

Here’s my first topic of discussion. Have you been in the moment, present, and thought to yourself “Only a crazy person would do this?”

The parameters around this are as follows–I’m not talking Charlie Sheen crazy–I tried carefully to distance myself from HIS crazy last post, and I’m not speaking of Tiger Blood, crazy rants, or anything of the sort. I feel it’s important to continue to distance myself as he is so ALL PERVASIVE that his craziness is all anyone seems to talk about. On Facebook, at my dinner table, etc. So not that.

Also not the kind of crazy that when you get home from a hellish trip to Williamsburg with your ears ringing from the crying car baby and your eyes tearing from the subzero temps and your twins’ legs chapped from the cold, you think “That was CRAZY. Why did I take that trip?” That’s different. That’s waking up and smelling the coffee and realizing perhaps you were ill-advised to think there was fun to be had in Williamsburg in December with a baby who hates the car.

What I’m talking about is what every mom does to get through the day–scheduling and planning and then having the schedules and plans sometimes work and sometimes not and then, in the midst of it all, thinking “This is working but only crazy people live like this”. Here is my example.

Problem: No one in my family under the age of 8 knows how to swim without swimmies AND a back-up tube though we spend lots of time at the beach and the pool and though they have spent LOTS of time in swim-type-lessons (with their Grandma, but it counts).

Problem: Everyone is sick of the family room and basement and the lame collections of toys that still end up ALL. OVER. THE. PLACE. Even though “There’s nothing for me to do”. Everyone is also sick of the sight of each other because they’ve been cooped up what with the 43 feet of snow.

Problem: We don’t have tons of free days what with the schooling and such so we were going to need to double down on some activities.

Problem: The need to get to the gym to free the spirit, free the mind, tighten the tush

Ok–those were the problems that created the following “Only a Crazy Person Would Do This” solution:

At 3pm we left our house with 3 totebags of stuff. One kid went to dance while the others came with me to drop of tax forms. And have snack so the gremlin didn’t get hungry. 3:30: pick up kid, everyone to gym. Everyone to childcare, the baby with labelled toys since last time she sucked every germ she could find off the gym toys and was up with a fever for 2 nights and has a smoker’s cough and runny nose we’re still enjoying. Mommy runs. Mommy gets them all, into swimming suits, into swimming lessons. At 6pm. On a Tuesday. Happy swimmers! Baby watches. Everyone out, everyone into the shower.

I am crazy moment: I’ve got the baby in the carseat loaded up with towels outside of the shower, all three girls in the shower naked as I try to soap them up and not get soaked, try to keep them from staring at the other people trying to maintain some semblance of privacy as they change/shower after their workout, try to keep the baby from yelling since she’s short a nap and sick of the seat–and it kind of all worked! We got into pajamas, we got home, ate dinner, everyone up to bed–and it was a little nutty and there was more nakedness then I might have preferred but it still kind of worked! And everyone in the gym looked at me like I was crazy with all those girls and all those nighties and still, it worked. And one lady even said “I know it must get crazy but I hope you feel blessed”.

Every day I feel blessed. I do. (Also bless-you’ed when the baby sneezes on me). And every day is a little bit of crazy.

WHEN have you been living in the crazy and looked at yourself from the outside? What’s your crazy mommy moment? Share please. Or else I’m just babbling away from the nuthouse on my own…visit the Facebook page and be a part of the discussion! (Click “Discussions”…or here!)

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Revisiting old themes

Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011

The recent lull in blog posts was due to a much-needed trip to the Bahamas. Like most of the northeast, between plague-like germ conditions in our house causing a round of coughing that began December 1 and NEVER stopped with germs being spread and re-spread, and the ever-loving snow that stacked itself in feet outside my door, keeping us all trapped in with the germs–we were going crazy. Not Charlie Sheen crazy but maybe, honestly, only one more antibiotics prescription away from at least one of us heading down that slippery slope.

So we took the kids out of school for a week. (gasp!) I was never allowed to do this as a school age person, myself; when I broached the idea to my parents, our Bahamas co-travelers (extra hands at the pool so Mommy could occasionally get in a margarita) I expected some flack, but they were like “Why would you even think twice? Do it”. Sure, this may have been influenced by my dad’s desire to get on the water slides without pesky lines of school age kids, but off we went and so glad we did. Needed that break.

So that was the first step back to sanity and then yesterday I headed back to the gym after a 1 month hiatus, caused by 3 influencing factors:

1. Plague-like germ conditions causing incessant coughing which might, possibly, elicit dirty looks when children were brought in public – (take a guess how I know this) – have I mentioned the sickness string? Have you, too, lived the sickness string? Is there any family in America right now that has not spent the last 3 months coughing and revolving-door-rotating through the pharmacy and pediatrician?

2. So much snow that I would have to pull the children on a toboggan to GET to the gym after which what’s the point of doing anything but sitting in the steam room?

3. The baby’s massive freakouts at being left in childcare, which allowed me to maximize my workouts at 3 minutes.

We re-tried the gym, yesterday, now that the baby can sit and play with toys and guess what? She was able to rally and last a full 40 minutes in childcare. So I ran and gained clarity and realized that so much of what I’d been preaching and advising, I’d been completely ignoring myself. Is it the spring feel to the air? Is it the fact that there’s ALMOST no snow left on my yard? I know that so many people are in the same boat as me – sick of the winter and the germs and the trapped in. But here’s what I also realized:

1. It’s easier to work out in my house, on my treadmill. (It’s actually easier to not work out at all). It’s also for free (both those options). So I reasoned why even pay for the gym? And thus the only thing that got me out the door, going to the gym, I almost cancelled.

2. I can get by without a constant babysitter and I could save dough. And sure it got crazy and the baby played with crumpled up PowerPoints as toys but we could do it.

3. The world at large was frustrating me so I was ignoring friends and even relatives and just getting through my days, exhausted and just relieved to be at the end of each day.

So those things combined and it was easier, more economical–to just “get through”. And I found myself starting to hate everyone I knew and also myself. And so, after the treadmill, I said, “Self! Pull it the hell together”.

I know, personally, that when I hole up with myself and become too introspective, nothing helps. I was talking to a mom-of-twins-to-be, the other day, and telling her that what kept me sane, when I had three-under-two-years, was getting out every day and taking walks, just to get out. And now that they’re a bit bigger, and it should be easier–I have got to shake my own self up. Get out of my house, even if it’s easier to stay in.

This blog is supposed to cover how crazy it is to be a working mom and keep so many balls up in the air. I’m using it now as a public forum to push myself to get out there, and not just use the winter blahs to let everything spiral down around me. The winter, the germs, the lack of people makes it so easy to get to a dark, grumpy, depressed place. In the spirit of shared experience, I know so many who walk that line. I’m going to try to take my own advice to actively try to walk away from that line. So that’s my public goal as the spring sun tries to melt that last residual snow…I have posted before about getting outside, getting dressed in more than sweats, blah blah blah. But I guess we all need reminders.

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