What not to wear

I’m having this style thing going on. This is a recurring thing with me, but I decided this year to stop looking like a pajama walmart shopper (my most comfy, comfy black pants–they are not sweatpants, but they are that kind of fabric–just went to the clothing drive. At least, they’re in the clothing drive bag. I swear I won’t take them out…)

BUT. I decided to step it up. I dropped a kid at dance class and the amount of diamonds worn by one mama, with her coordinated black pants that weren’t sweat pants AT ALL but were also that material, intimidated me. But I was not dissuaded. I was not, after all, trying out for the Jersey housewives. I was simply trying to move beyond hausefrau.

I find myself perplexed as I look about. For instance, is this a thing?

Headbands on the forehead? Because, weird. I mean, my gut is no, it’s not a thing, as the people modeling here are not my style mavens and the other place I’ve seen it is on the Biggest Loser, which should not obviously be my style guide. But I’ve actually seen it other places too. I cannot make it my thing.

I had a cocktail party to go the other day and got a lecture from husband on NOT buying anything for myself EVER. EVER. EVER. AGAIN from Target. Item in question, somewhat cute little black and white dress. It is honestly the one thing I own from Target, well, one of two. The other is a t-shirt for Christmas with a sparkly tree. (Jeez, I’m digging my own grave here). The t-shirt is not like a weirdo Christmas extravaganza sweater, it’s like a tasteful shirt I’d wear in December, I’m not going to go Armani for my holiday gear.

The dress in question is cute. But, the last thing I wanted anyone at this fairly swanky cocktail party to think was HUZZAH! That’s straight outta Target. Noone would in fact know unless they shopped at Target, but they could be there buying toilet paper and cereal, not dresses. Which is what my husband says is the natural order of things.

Buy better stuff. Ok, but to wear, where? I can’t justify pulling out all the stops every day. I had this discussion, with a friend at the party, that it’s worth investing in nice things instead of lots of cheap junky things (like what’s found at Walmart. NEVER Target). I do have nice things. I just think I might need someone to come in and clean out the … not nice. Or doesn’t fit. Or you bought this in highschool when you worked at the Gap. Freak.

And this brings me back to the fashion. I mean, I don’t go one zillion places to watch the trends. At they gym, some ladies are now sporting only the sports bra and shorts. A, is that allowed, B, no, even if it’s fashion, it’s not mine.

I recently picked out a great jacket for my husband and posted a pic on facebook for opinions, because he said it was bad. I got 29 responses about how bad it was. That is more facebook crowd response than when I announced I gave birth to Princess Number 4. Luckily, I hadn’t bought it, but clearly, I’m a walking train wreck.

The other day the baby wore jeggings. Those are jean leggings. They are wicked awesome on the baby. They are not in my repetoire. So at least I’m that far ahead. In fact, my kids always are style-y. Though they did go through a temporary tattoo phase this summer, to the extent that my husband pointed out it was like Sons of Anarchy around our house, except with 4 little girls instead of a massive amount of bikers.

So I’m going to keep trying my best, avoiding Target, and living through them. Except I know I’m only a heartbeat away from them busting out the headband on the forehead.

And then what if I do it too?


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